My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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