HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
