I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Moan for me like Helen Keller
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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