I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
