when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
