We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
