I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
