I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
