I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
