This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
