And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just pee around me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
