In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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