barbara walters just said penis...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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