They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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