I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I seem to have left my pride at pride
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
