I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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