Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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