I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
