I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
