So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
