He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
