What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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