I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
