Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
