Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
