Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if i died would you start the facebook group?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
