508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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