if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You need Xanax blowdarts
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I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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