Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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