She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
