Just cropdusted the office
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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