I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
