belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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