In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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