Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
