I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
