Tell her she can't have a vagina
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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