You really coming over, don't trick.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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