you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
