he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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