He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You smell like stripper and shame
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
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You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
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My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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