Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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