Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
