just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
