erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
