What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
