69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
