We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
