That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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