Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
