can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
