fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have already put on my inside pants.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize