So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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