I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
