Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize