Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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