'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
