I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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