Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
