lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
