pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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