He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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