tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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